my revelations
Lessons Learned
experiential awareness and objectivity
You have built a wall around your heart. You thought it offered protection from the hurts of those who unknowingly offended you in some way. Over time, it has become a fortress, this imagined strength to continue to face each day with an I-don’t-care attitude. Did you fool yourself? You tried so hard to believe. But the truth is what it is. No one could see inside the dark space where you kept your heart hidden, yet you held the expectation that others would know how to fulfill your needs…as the walls press down around you.
It is not a perfect world. No one human is perfect. We all live, love, and learn. We greet each new day with encouragement that maybe…we will be more understood, more loved, and perhaps even find it within ourselves to understand and love more, beginning with our own imperfections.
Denial follows guilt. Anger follows denial. Depression follows anger. Where does compassion find a way through the wall of armor? Where does hope and joy and love blossom, if not in the depths of the dark soil straining to burst forth from the cold confines of earth and rock, striving closer and closer to reach the air, water, and sun, forever seeking nourishment?
Compassion begins with oneself – forgiveness for our humanness. Waking each day that perhaps THIS day, THIS opportunity we are given, it, we will be different, respond differently and not trip and fall, stumbling on the same rock on the same path.
There is always a choice. You choose to love or not. When you keep forgiveness locked away, you imprison youself in chains of your own making. It becomes YOUR problem, not the others.
When criticism and unacceptance, intolerance of others is the driving force, the smallness inside feels greater, larger, stronger, but only when the recipient agrees to the rules of your game.
The loss is greater than you can imagine. The opportunity to do it different will begin to wane.
Seize the moment without attachment to the outcome. Be present in the moment. FULLY present. Without judgement of yourself or others.
Everyone has the same basic need to be loved and accepted…unconditional love.
The weeds in your heart’s garden have strong roots that are fed by bitterness. They are like blackberries that are difficult to remove. Their shoots sprout unexpectedly. You must remain ever vigilant to pluck them from the soil lest their brambles overtake you like chains that won’t loosen.
It’s never too late.
(circa 2007)
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